Carrying the Banner

Is there anything better than a bunch of good-looking guys dancing and singing through the streets of New York City? Hang on, let me ask my Magic 8 Ball. Yep, just as I suspected: "Concentrate and ask again."

Wait, what? Oh yeah, my Magic 8 Ball actually dehydrated and I had to throw it out. Sad day. So, let me answer for it. Is there anything better? My sources say no.

Newsies came out in 1992. I remember this vividly, as I was a twelve year old girl, and things like cute singing and dancing boys stick with you when you're twelve. My sister and I must have seen this movie at least a dozen times in the theater (hooray for the dollar movie!), and to this day we still quote it at appropriate times. (Which is more often than you might think.)

The film is purportedly based on a true story, set during the Hearst/Pulitzer era around the turn of the (last) century, and dealing with issues of child labor. I'm not sure how much of it is really true. My guess is most of it, because everybody knows that's what they do in New York: spontaneously dance and sing in perfect harmony all over the city.

But whatever factual issues there may be (and really, I have no idea what they are, I have never researched it), this movie is fun. Great songs, cute boys, and Christian Bale waaay before he was Batman. And cute boys. Did I mention the cute boys? There are cute boys. (Yes, I'm still twelve years old.) Check it out. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. And plus, it's a winner! It says so, right on the cover!

(P.S. Make sure you watch the credits all the way through until the backdrop unfreezes. You can thank me later.)

Trifectas

Things in life seem to come in threes. Like, if one bad thing happens in your life, look out, because numbers two and three are probably on the horizon. And I heard on the radio once that celebrities seem to die in triplicate. Then there's math: peanut butter + jelly + bread = three awesome ingredients. And that one Len Barry song. And how could you get to 12 without first starting with "1, 2, 3?" You couldn't, that's how.

And then there's movie trilogies. You've got your Star Wars, your Indiana Jones (because let's be honest here, the fourth one doesn't count), and your Lord of the Rings. All classic, epic adventures.

But don't forget one more classic adventure trilogy: Toy Story.


Go ahead. Make the alien "oooooh!" noise. You know you want to.

The Toy Story series is one of the best film series of all time. And even though 15 years (half my life!---er, I mean, was I even born when the first movie came out?) lapsed between the first and the third installments, the first doesn't feel dated, and the third still feels fresh.

In the first movie, you fall in love with Woody and Buzz and the whole gang. And you really hope that burn mark will come off of Woody's forehead. And you think it's hilarious that Sid wants to ride the pony. And you add a whole bunch of quotable lines to your repertoire. And after watching it, you secretly set up cameras in your room in hopes of catching your toys, you know, at it.

In the second movie, you marvel at the even crisper animation even as you think how disgusting that cheese dust looks on the villain's fingers. You want a Bullseye of your very own, because he's adorable. You stay to the very, very end and learn why they call him Stinky Pete. And you figure that these toys have had a good run from 1995-1999, and you say goodbye, satisfied.

And then, to everyone's surprise and elation, along comes the third movie, eleven years later. And you laugh---you laugh a lot---at Ken, at Mr. Pita Head, at Spanish Buzz, at "Mr. Pricklepants"...and that jellybean stuck to his head. You are terrified by Big Baby on the swing set. (Seriously! Creepiest. Toy. Ever.) You cry a little watching Andy and Bonnie. And if you're anything like me, you're genuinely worried for the welfare of these characters that you have come to know and love.

If I sound a little...over-the-top seriously nostalgically in love with these movies, it's just because I am. They are wonderful in every possible way. I think the middle one is the weakest of the three, and even it is fantastic. There is simply nothing not to love. See these movies, now. And then watch them again and again and again.

And then please don't ever leave your toys in the sandbox. Seems like a rough place, what with all half-melted soldiers and, uh, Lincoln Logs.

Major nerd alert!

Long ago, I wrote a post about one of the best television shows ever, Firefly. You may or may not have gone out and bought it (you should have). And then you may or may not have seen the feature film, Serenity (you should have). And then, to curb your desire for more, you may or may not have read the comic series, hoping for more answers to some of the questions that never got answered (you should have if you're as nerdy as me, but otherwise I'll let this one slide).

But after doing all these things, you were still left with questions, right? Questions like what the heck is in that syringe of Inara's, anyway? What was on the Shepherd's identity card? How many flavors of protein can there really be? What are the rules to that crazy space basketball game? And were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?

Well, Dark Horse Comics' newest installment, Serenity: The Shepherd's Tale, won't answer all of those questions, but---actually, it won't answer any of those questions. But it will give you the background of one of the series' most intriguing and mysterious characters, Shepherd Book.

You can read the whole thing in about ten minutes, and once you do, I suggest you read it again, backwards, because it's written in little chunks that take you backward in time bit by bit, until you find yourself face to face with little pre-pubescent Book. (Aww, isn't he cute?) Some of the story is familiar. Some of it is weird. Some of it is sad. And some of it might make you go, "Wait, what??" But in the end, you'll know more about Shepherd Book than you did before. That's a guarantee.

Whether you'll be satisfied with what you learn or not is not for me to say. When I received this little gem on Christmas day, I read it, then my sister, then my mom, and then my dad. We all had different reactions to it, some of us liking it, some of us not so much. But now we know...at least some of it!

So if you're curious (and what nerd isn't?), I recommend you pick this up for your own nerdy collection. Now let's hope they make one about Inara, because I really do want to know about that syringe! After I learn about protein, of course.

Aaaand we're back.

So it's been 21 months. So sue me.

(Please don't sue me.)

Without further ado, let's hop right on in.

Today, I finally saw Inception. I know, it's about time, right? Pretty sure I'm the last person in the whole entire universe to see this movie. So all of you who have fallen victim to my endlessly annoying shrieks of "Don't talk about that! Don't say anything! I haven't seen it yet!!!" can rest easy. You can talk about it now. You can say things. I've seen it.

However, I blame you all for my general underwhelmed-ness. This is not to say I didn't like it (all of you who think I didn't like The Sixth Sense because I figured it out right away, I'm looking at you). I did like it. But it was over-hyped for me. The way you all talk about it, it's like this movie is completely revolutionary. It will do for entertainment what sliced bread did for sandwiches, what microwaves did for popcorn, what an inflatable David Hasselhoff did for my video collection (don't ask). And yeah, it was pretty good. But it wasn't that good.

It's not like the ideas being explored here are new. Anyone seen What Dreams May Come or The Cell? Both creepy. Both not about what Inception is about. But both exploring similar themes and ideas. This isn't new territory for Hollywood.

Inception is well made, and for the first time in, well, ever, I can say that I didn't hate Leonardo DiCaprio. (See that? I even wrote his name correctly! For those of you who know me well, that alone is proof!) And it is interesting, and it does raise some interesting questions. But it didn't blow my mind. I don't feel the need to see it again and again for endless analysis. Frankly, I don't think there's that much to analyze. It was a fun popcorn movie for an afternoon. And anyone who's seen my video collection knows that I love my popcorn movies. I'm just sayin', y'all oversold it. So knock it off, in case there's someone else out there who still hasn't seen it. They'll like it more without knowing what you think.

A truth universally acknowledged...

In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love this movie.*

Oh, gosh, that was cheesy. Let's start again.

On second thought, no, I'll stick with it. A cheesy way to begin, certainly, but absolutely not a cheesy scene in the best film adaptation of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.

The A&E version (not to be confused with the BBC version,which I have not seen) has it all: it stays true to the source material (read her before you mock her, boys--Jane Austen is incredibly witty), it has the most annoying Mrs. Bennet and the most disgusting Mr. Collins known to man (both of which are good things), and, most importantly of all, it has the best Mr. Darcy ever.

Don't let the length turn you away from this movie. It's a miniseries, so it's conveniently broken into 50 minute segments. Plus, contrary to popular belief, it's only five hours, not six. And anyway, once you hit video four/the beginning of the second DVD, you won't want to stop. Those of you who've seen it know what I'm talking about.

So give it a chance. Sure, Mr. Bingley is a goofball and a walking smiley face and Jane kind of looks like, well, a horse. But...I have no words. It's good. Watch it.

*Sorry, Ms. Austen.

In no particular order...

...here are some reasons you should not waste your time with this movie.Which, of course, begs the question as to why I'm posting a "BUY ME!" link to it, but, well, to each his own. On to the list!

1. It stars Hayden Christensen. If you don't remember, he's the guy that played Anakin Skywalker. And---spoiler---he turns into Darth Vader! And oh yeah, he's a crummy actor.

2. It's based "100%" off a young adult novel. Which would be fine, except by "100%" the director actually means ".001%." An understandable mistake, really: decimal points and percentages are hard!

3. It's very low on a precious little commodity that some people like to call "plot."

4. Samuel L. Jackson's hair looks really stupid.

5. There's nobody to like in this movie. Nobody to root for. Everybody is a scuzzbucket, even though the main character claims that he's "different." He's, um, not.

6. It's only 83 minutes long, which could definitely be a plus. Some movies are too overgrown for their own good (yes, Narnia 1, I'm talking about you). But this movie coulda used about an extra half hour to, say, develop the characters or the storyline or something. Anything.

7. According to one of the special features, the creative team (I'm tempted to use quotation marks around both of those words) created an entire mythology for these characters and the world, which they feel informed the work. In the same feature, an actor playing one of the lead roles said, "I'd really like to know my character's story." Which leads to the conclusion that the aforementioned mythology did not, in fact, inform anyone of anything. (Least of all the audience.)

And the last reason that comes to mind as to why you should not bother with this film:

8. It sucks.

The fedora, the whip...

Is there a cooler movie character in all cinematic history than Indiana Jones? I think not. Or if there is, he's pretty high up on a very short list.

Okay, while Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull may not have been all we hoped it would be, it does have one big thing going for it: it makes you nostalgic for the original trilogy.

All three of these movies are great. Well, okay--two of them are great and one of them is a little questionable (Temple of Doom, I'm looking at you), but even that one has some redeeming qualities. Quotable, funny, well-built--and that's just the star! (I kid, of course, but Harrison Ford is extremely charismatic in this role, and nice to look at to boot.) Action, adventure, romance, comedy...throw in a little science and a little of the supernatural, and you've definitely got something for everyone.

This is a set of films everyone should own because they're worth seeing again and again (especially The Last Crusade, which is my favorite--you just can't beat the combination of Harrison Ford and Sean Connery. Though Raiders of the Lost Ark does run a close second). And unlike another trilogy featuring Harrison Ford which shall remain nameless at this time, these films have not been "remastered" (read: screwed up) with "enhanced" (read: over-the-top) special effects.

And now, I leave you with a song.

Enchanting

If ever in your life you've enjoyed a classic Disney animated movie, you need to see Enchanted. This movie manages to poke fun at many Disney/fairytale conventions (talking animals, wicked stepmothers, love at first sight) while telling an original and adorable new story at the same time.

The casting is brilliant. Amy Adams plays Giselle with delightful cartoon innocence. And James Marsden, in addition to being very, very pretty, could not possibly act the role of Prince Charming (sorry---Prince Edward) any more perfectly. Even actors that I personally do not generally care for, like Susan Sarandon and Patrick Dempsey, are wonderful in their roles. The three original songs are also quite entertaining; in particular, the lyrics to "The Happy Working Song" are hilarious, and if the big production surrounding "That's How You Know" doesn't make you smile, well, you might not know how. To smile, that is.

I love how Disney can make fun of itself. I wish the bonus features on the DVD (all actually worthwhile, by the way, excepting the music video easter egg which I actually skipped through as I'm not a Carrie Underwood fan) included something that points out every movie they've referenced. While watching it with my mom tonight, we picked out references to Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, Lady and the Tramp, Beauty and the Beast, and The Little Mermaid. And who knows what we missed.

If this review sounds a little like gushing, it's because it is. This is really a lovely movie. And look, I can't be witty all the time. The pressure!

For the nerd in all of us.

I don't care who you are or how much you profess to hate Shakespeare. Kenneth Branagh's Much Ado About Nothingis made of awesome. If you hate Shakespeare and see this movie and still hate Shakespeare, then...well, then you can continue to hate Shakespeare, but our relationship may become strained for at least a few moments.

Okay, so the opening slow-motion sequence is extremely corny. And the Busby Berkeley-like closing scene is a bit much. But in between, there's so much to like! Kenneth Branagh is utterly charming as Benedick, and Emma Thompson's Beatrice has such a combination of wit and heart that it causes you to write cheesy sentences like this one. Keanu Reeves, who was born to play Ted in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, seems like he's dying to say "Dude!" in most of his scenes, but still, you have to give him credit: unlike Leonardo DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet, you get the feeling that he at least understands what he's saying.

I love this movie. I love Shakespeare in general, but I'm not just praising him blanketly. Frankly, some of his plays suck (I simply cannot abide The Winter's Tale, for instance). But this is not one of those. This source material is simply wonderful, and this adaptation is, I think, accessible to nearly everyone.

And so I leave you. Adieu: be vigitant, I beseech you!

Oh my goodness, they're FUNCTIONAL!

So, I just saw Dan in Real Life, and I liked it quite a bit. I guess it'd be classified as a romantic comedy, but I think it's a bit more of a drama with some laughs thrown in. What it is above all is very sweet.

And what I couldn't get over was that here was this big, happy family all spending a week together...and they were a completely functional family. Completely. How often do you see that in movie and TV these days? I can't remember the last time..."Cosby," maybe?

At any rate, this is a delightful little film.

Oh, and the soundtrack is a real winner, too. Mellow, upbeat, emotional, and quirky all at the right places.