A Brief Hiatus

Not that I post all that regularly anyway, or that there's that many people reading this thing, but I thought I'd let you know that there most definitely won't be any posts until probably July, because I am going on a much anticipated trip. I'm keeping all my extra wittiness here for a while:



Don't steal it while I'm gone! I don't have that much to begin with.

In no particular order...

...here are some reasons you should not waste your time with this movie.Which, of course, begs the question as to why I'm posting a "BUY ME!" link to it, but, well, to each his own. On to the list!

1. It stars Hayden Christensen. If you don't remember, he's the guy that played Anakin Skywalker. And---spoiler---he turns into Darth Vader! And oh yeah, he's a crummy actor.

2. It's based "100%" off a young adult novel. Which would be fine, except by "100%" the director actually means ".001%." An understandable mistake, really: decimal points and percentages are hard!

3. It's very low on a precious little commodity that some people like to call "plot."

4. Samuel L. Jackson's hair looks really stupid.

5. There's nobody to like in this movie. Nobody to root for. Everybody is a scuzzbucket, even though the main character claims that he's "different." He's, um, not.

6. It's only 83 minutes long, which could definitely be a plus. Some movies are too overgrown for their own good (yes, Narnia 1, I'm talking about you). But this movie coulda used about an extra half hour to, say, develop the characters or the storyline or something. Anything.

7. According to one of the special features, the creative team (I'm tempted to use quotation marks around both of those words) created an entire mythology for these characters and the world, which they feel informed the work. In the same feature, an actor playing one of the lead roles said, "I'd really like to know my character's story." Which leads to the conclusion that the aforementioned mythology did not, in fact, inform anyone of anything. (Least of all the audience.)

And the last reason that comes to mind as to why you should not bother with this film:

8. It sucks.

I kind of feel...guilty.

You know those things you're supposed to like? Or respect? Or find interesting, or whatever? Because they deal with Very Important things? And then you feel guilty if you don't, I dunno, appreciate them? Like, for example, say you read The Diary of Anne Frank and you don't think it was all that amazing. Or you see the original canvas of Van Gogh's Starry Night in a museum, and you are unmoved. You don't necessarily not like these things, you just...aren't that impressed.

That's how I feel about Ishmael Beah's A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier. I really feel like I should be incredibly moved by it. After all, it's about a horrific event (the civil war in Sierra Leone), and its author was a boy soldier who witnessed and participated in terrifying activities, and the author is the same age as me, so you'd think I'd compare my life to his and be a little bit awed and a little bit scared and a whole lot grateful.

And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit of all of those things. There were times in this book that I stopped and thought, "I could never do that," followed by, "...could I?" Followed by, "I hope I never have to find out." So yeah, there's definitely some visceral response going on there. But, I dunno. The book's just not that great.

I feel really guilty saying that. I feel like I should be praising this book from the rooftops just because of the topic. I feel like I'm somehow less of a human being because I wasn't deeply moved by Beah's experiences. I wanted to like this book a lot. I really did. I just...didn't. Mostly it's because of the writing itself. My dad is fond of saying, "His English is much better than my [enter language of choice here]," when hearing people speak for whom English is a second language. And certainly, Beah's English is quite good. But it's just so...accurate. It doesn't sparkle. It has no life. To use a tried and true English Nerd phrase, it doesn't show, it tells. It's extremely dull to read because there's no interesting language use. Sometimes you might as well be reading a textbook.

I'm not completely un-recommending this book (is that a word? It is now), because the events it describes are certainly worth learning about, and the opportunity to do so from someone who lived through them is, for lack of a better word, important. But I can't wholeheartedly recommend it because, frankly, it's just not well-written.

Okay, I feel guilty. I'm going to go crawl under a rock now.

I'm not ashamed!

I admit it. When I first felt the urge to buy this album, I was embarrassed. After feverishly searching through the racks at the store to find their lone copy (and being ridiculously excited when I did), I fervently wished for a self-check out station. I felt like I needed to justify my purchase to the clerk.

But no more! I am proud of the fact that I own the soundtrackto Christopher Guest's film A Mighty Wind, and I don't care who knows it!

The eighteen tracks on this disc are all original, excepting "Start Me Up," which is a Rolling Stones song (and, incidentally, the only track that I skip almost every time). I don't know much about the folk music of the '60s, but I'm told that the rest of these songs are near-perfect parodies and homages to such groups as The Kingston Trio and The New Christy Minstrels. At any rate, they're great songs, ranging from one of the best love songs ever ("When You're Next to Me," which, if it's possible, is actually going to wear out on my CD), to the bizarrely historical ("Skeletons of Quinto"), to war protests ("The Ballad of Bobby and June"), and everything in between.

The New Main Street Singers definitely have the most cheesy songs on the album, but even if you don't like their lyrics (the hilarious "Good Book Song" is one of my favorites), you've got to admire their tight harmonies and all around good musical production. The Folksmen are their polar opposites, as evidenced in the two versions of "Never Did No Wanderin'," both of which are enjoyable in different ways. But my favorite group is Mitch and Mickey. I'm only slightly embarrassed to say that were there entire Mitch and Mickey albums available, I'd buy them.

Plus, one of the songs on this disc, Mitch and Mickey's "A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow," was nominated for an Oscar. So, hey, I'm not the only one.

Buy this album. Embrace your inner faux-folk enthusiast!

The fedora, the whip...

Is there a cooler movie character in all cinematic history than Indiana Jones? I think not. Or if there is, he's pretty high up on a very short list.

Okay, while Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull may not have been all we hoped it would be, it does have one big thing going for it: it makes you nostalgic for the original trilogy.

All three of these movies are great. Well, okay--two of them are great and one of them is a little questionable (Temple of Doom, I'm looking at you), but even that one has some redeeming qualities. Quotable, funny, well-built--and that's just the star! (I kid, of course, but Harrison Ford is extremely charismatic in this role, and nice to look at to boot.) Action, adventure, romance, comedy...throw in a little science and a little of the supernatural, and you've definitely got something for everyone.

This is a set of films everyone should own because they're worth seeing again and again (especially The Last Crusade, which is my favorite--you just can't beat the combination of Harrison Ford and Sean Connery. Though Raiders of the Lost Ark does run a close second). And unlike another trilogy featuring Harrison Ford which shall remain nameless at this time, these films have not been "remastered" (read: screwed up) with "enhanced" (read: over-the-top) special effects.

And now, I leave you with a song.

I ate too many.

Homemade cookies are the best, I know. And my family makes some pretty darn good ones. But if you're in a rush or just don't feel like baking, give Albertsons chocolate chip cookies a try.

Mmmm, so good. They have that really soft, somewhat grainy melt-in-your-mouth texture. And a lot of chocolate chips, but not so many that you're not getting any cookie. And I've been told that they're really good warm, so you could pop them in the microwave for a few seconds.

Did I mention that they're really good? They break apart easily, but don't worry, that's okay--there are no calories in the small pieces, only in whole cookies.

For those of you who brought homemade cookies to the party tonight, don't be offended by this post! Your cookies were awesome. But people can't buy them, now can they? At least not yet...

Enchanting

If ever in your life you've enjoyed a classic Disney animated movie, you need to see Enchanted. This movie manages to poke fun at many Disney/fairytale conventions (talking animals, wicked stepmothers, love at first sight) while telling an original and adorable new story at the same time.

The casting is brilliant. Amy Adams plays Giselle with delightful cartoon innocence. And James Marsden, in addition to being very, very pretty, could not possibly act the role of Prince Charming (sorry---Prince Edward) any more perfectly. Even actors that I personally do not generally care for, like Susan Sarandon and Patrick Dempsey, are wonderful in their roles. The three original songs are also quite entertaining; in particular, the lyrics to "The Happy Working Song" are hilarious, and if the big production surrounding "That's How You Know" doesn't make you smile, well, you might not know how. To smile, that is.

I love how Disney can make fun of itself. I wish the bonus features on the DVD (all actually worthwhile, by the way, excepting the music video easter egg which I actually skipped through as I'm not a Carrie Underwood fan) included something that points out every movie they've referenced. While watching it with my mom tonight, we picked out references to Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, Lady and the Tramp, Beauty and the Beast, and The Little Mermaid. And who knows what we missed.

If this review sounds a little like gushing, it's because it is. This is really a lovely movie. And look, I can't be witty all the time. The pressure!