I am old.

It's true. Today I am officially one year older than I was last year at this time. However, there are some things that are still older than me. The Cheesecake Factory is one of them.

The Cheesecake Factory is yummy. The Cheesecake Factory has a huge variety of entrees and cheesecake. The Cheesecake Factory is quite sinful.

I went there today for my birthday and enjoyed a lunch portion of chicken and pasta. For a lunch portion, it was still surprisingly large--large enough that I brought half of it home for leftovers. They've got pasta, chicken, sandwiches, soup, salad, fish--you name it, they've probably got it. And it's not all fancy stuff, either--they've got battered fish and chips and comfort food like meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

It is pricey. Lunch is cheaper, obviously, but I couldn't tell you how much for sure as someone paid for me (thanks, Marianne!). I did get a glance at the prices, though, and it ain't cheap. But it's tasty.

Of course, the cheesecake, normally around seven dollars a gigantic, gigantic slice, is definitely cheap if you go on The Cheesecake Factory's 30th anniversary (older than me), which conveniently occurred today, which is also conveniently International Cheesecake Day. All of this means that today we enjoyed gigantic, gigantic slices of cheesecake for only $1.50.

I ate this:

Chocolate Tuxedo Cream. Oh. My. Gosh. My friend and I agreed that their cheesecake is probably illegal somewhere. All I know for sure is that my pants don't fit anymore, but it was worth it.

A truth universally acknowledged...

In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love this movie.*

Oh, gosh, that was cheesy. Let's start again.

On second thought, no, I'll stick with it. A cheesy way to begin, certainly, but absolutely not a cheesy scene in the best film adaptation of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.

The A&E version (not to be confused with the BBC version,which I have not seen) has it all: it stays true to the source material (read her before you mock her, boys--Jane Austen is incredibly witty), it has the most annoying Mrs. Bennet and the most disgusting Mr. Collins known to man (both of which are good things), and, most importantly of all, it has the best Mr. Darcy ever.

Don't let the length turn you away from this movie. It's a miniseries, so it's conveniently broken into 50 minute segments. Plus, contrary to popular belief, it's only five hours, not six. And anyway, once you hit video four/the beginning of the second DVD, you won't want to stop. Those of you who've seen it know what I'm talking about.

So give it a chance. Sure, Mr. Bingley is a goofball and a walking smiley face and Jane kind of looks like, well, a horse. But...I have no words. It's good. Watch it.

*Sorry, Ms. Austen.

Mmmm... *drool*

Despite really, really enjoying food, I don't really like to cook. It's just so time consuming, what with all the shopping and chopping and rushing to the emergency room for stitches.

Oddly enough, though, I love cooking shows. I don't have cable, but if I did, rest assured I'd watch the Food Network pretty much all the time (when "What Not To Wear" isn't on, that is). Lucky for me, good ol' PBS shows plenty of cooking shows, and the best of them is America's Test Kitchen.

The people on America's Test Kitchen do more than just cook amazing recipes. They also taste-test products (which store-bought white bread is the best? Answer: Pepperidge Farm), rate cooking gadgets (that All-Clad slow-cooker is awesome, but a featureless, inexpensive crock-pot works just as well), and explain the science behind some techniques (room temperature butter really does create a flakier pie crust).

Once, my mom walked past the television when I was watching it and asked what infomercial I had stopped on. I quickly explained that America's Test Kitchen isn't an infomercial. They're not trying to sell you anything (except maybe their cookbooks). Their tests are all completely fair and unbiased. They'll give you reasoning behind their choices, and if they determine that a gadget or food item is overpriced or useless, they'll tell you so.

Sure, it's hosted by a bow-tied, um, geek. But you get used to him. And then gawk at the amazing looking food. And should you want to try it yourself, you can! America's Test Kitchen has a huge line of cookbooks featuring their tried and true recipes, from desserts to thirty-minute recipes to light recipes (which is pretty amazing, as their chefs are huge fans of heavy cream). The cookbooks I've seen have explanations of how they arrived at this particular recipe and include buying guides for ingredients (Newman's Own lemonade is good, Snapple is not). You can even buy DVDs of the show.

If you like to cook, you really need to check out America's Test Kitchen. If you don't like to cook, you can still drool over that triple layer strawberry cream cake.

I have low cholesterol.

Yes, it's nice to have low cholesterol, I suppose, though I'm not really sure what cholesterol is or what it does. All I know is it's apparently supposed to be low, and mine is. Why? Sure, I exercise, try to eat right. But mostly it's because I'm the poster child for Cheerios.
I love Cheerios so much. Especially Honey Nut Cheerios. I think they might actually be laced with an illegal and addictive substance. I think I don't care. Cheerios are the best breakfast cereal slash afternoon munchie slash midnight snack ever. Those toddlers with their tupperware ain't got nothin' on me. Assuming I could prove that my cholesterol before my Cheerios addiction was quite high, I could be to Cheerios what Jared is to Subway.

If you are not a Cheerios connoisseur or something equally difficult to spell, you are missing out. Cheerios comes in a delightful variety of flavors. In order of my personal favorite to the, uh, not as good:

1. Honey Nut Cheerios. The Cheerio to which all other Cheerios aspire.
2. Frosted Cheerios. I'm a sucker for the sugar coating. Sorry, dentists.
3. Multi-Grain Cheerios. Slightly sweetened and oh so yummy.
4. Apple Cinnamon Cheerios. I like these better dry than with milk.
5. TIE: Regular Cheerios and Berry Burst Cheerios. Both good. Depends on my mood.
6. Yogurt Burst Cheerios. I was highly disappointed in these. Cheerios, you can do better.
7. Fruity Cheerios. I actually haven't tried these because I suspect they're pretty much smaller versions of Froot Loops, which I can do without.

And what's this? As I'm looking on the Cheerios website, I'm seeing a new flavor! Cheerios Crunch! Looks like it's time for a grocery run.

The only thing missing from the Cheerios repertoire is a Chocolate Cheerios. C'mon, guys. Hop on the bandwagon. There's Chocolate Honey Bunches of Oats (awesome), Chocolate Special K (meh), Chocolate Chex (pretty good). Where's Chocolate Cheerios?

On the other hand, it's probably good they don't exist. Those poor toddlers are probably sick enough of me stealing their finger food.

An oxymoron? No!

For decades it was considered negative to be nerdy. Pocket protectors, taped glasses, pegged pants--these are not images of ourselves we want anyone to see. (Not that I have any. Okay, except for the pegged pants.) But no more! It is indeed possible to be nerdy and beautiful! That is, if you're a CD of choral music.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am probably the biggest choir nerd on the planet, so it should come as no surprise to you that I have finally included some choral music on this blog. In fact, you're probably more surprised that it took so long. Anyway, I've been listening to Morten Lauridsen's Lux Aeternalately, and I think you should, too.

Lauridsen is a modern composer, but don't let the word "modern" scare you (it usually scares me--echoes of horrible atonal music dance in my ears). He writes incredibly lush, tight harmonies that are an absolute joy to hear. They give me goosebumps. And yes, I'm a nerd. But the music on this CD, particularly the Lux Aeterna set and "O Magnum Mysterium" (my personal favorite), is very, very beautiful.

It's all performed by a professional British choir called Polyphony, and they are very good. Sometimes the tenors go a little crazy, but they're tenors--it's what they do. We can forgive them. And sometimes I feel like they're just singing the notes. They do this very well--they always sound good--but sometimes I wish there was a little more...emotion. A little more ebb and flow in the musical line. This is particularly noticeable to me in "O Nata Lux," part of Lux Aeterna, but I could just be prejudiced because I know and love another recording of that piece.

Anyway, overall this is a very, very good CD and any lover of good music should check it out. Join the nerdy side. It's nice here.

Omigosh! There's plot!!

You may recall that I, uh, kind of ragged on Stephenie Meyer's Twilight. Just a little bit. I said that her work for juveniles was, um, juvenile. Go figure. But mostly, I complained that there was not enough plot for the length of the book. (Just thinking of it makes me go, "Ugggh.")

Well, not so with Meyer's first book for adults, The Host.This book is about 600 pages long, and believe it or not, has almost 600 pages of plot! I know! I couldn't believe it either! On page one, you are immersed into the story and have to swim around for a while before you even quite know what's going on. It's great. And then, guess what? Stuff keeps happening!!

I felt like the book bogged down a little in the second third as it sets up the fairly predictable love story (no spoiler there, really--you can see it coming a mile away), but Meyer's style flows so well and is so easy to read that this isn't too much of a drawback. There are several descriptions of the main character's feelings toward another character, ala Twilight, but unlike in Twilight where these make up 90% of the book, here it's only something like 15%. However, like Twilight, the book is still totally clean.

I won't tell you what the book is about, because half the fun is discovering it as you read (unless you read the blurb, which probably gives everything away anyway), but I will tell you not to be scared by the designation of "science fiction." There are aliens and spaceships and references to deep space and other planets. But this is not hard-core science fiction at all. In fact, you could easily forget it's science fiction at all and just become involved in the (cliche ahead) human-ness of it all.

In short, this book is so much better than Twilight that I hope Ms. Meyer writes more for adults in the future!

When I grow up, I'm going to be Audra McDonald.

Of course, there are a few problems with that plan, but darn it if I'm not going to try.

If you haven't heard of Audra McDonald and you 1) like good singers and/or 2) like musical theater and/or 3) appreciate good music, you are missing out. Allow me to enlighten you with a review of one of her many contributions to the music scene: Build a Bridge.

This album, released in 2006, features songs by artists as diverse as Burt Bacharach, John Mayer, Neil Young, and Randy Newman, all performed to perfection by Audra McDonald. Her solo voice is impressive in not only its physical range (she's got the high notes and the low notes, all the time), but also its emotional expression. For example, she sings "Bein' Green" (yes, Kermit's song) with such heart that you feel like important life decisions are being made, and follows it with "Tom Cat Goodbye," where the anger toward a cheating husband is very clear, and then changes to "I Think It's Going to Rain Today," which is so forlorn that you wonder how she made it through the recording.

Yeah--this album not so much for the depressed. It's extremely mellow. Which isn't a bad thing--not at all. It's just a fact. If you're already feeling really mellow and you simply must listen to this album, then I suggest you put "Wonderful You" on repeat, because it is a very happy, peppy song. In fact, it almost seems out of place on this album filled with heart-wrenching pieces. It's kind of a breath of fresh air.

I love this album even though it has such a sad tone. Audra McDonald's voice is endlessly listenable. Do yourself a favor and check her out.